After all these years,... Part 1

I've lived overseas (i.e., not in the USA) for many years.  More than half of my life now, in fact.  And sometimes I stop and wonder about how strange I must sound to people "back there" when, for example, I post a joke on Facebook and my sense of humor or point of reference is too bizarre for "them" to get it.  A friend of mine works for a company that produces, among other things, Bluetooth devices for mobile phones.  Once, when he was traveling for business not far from Afghanistan, I asked if he had one that, uh shall we say, might be useful for suicide bombers.  He said that warzone humor borders on the creepy.  I guess I might agree.  Well, my sense of humor is DEFINITELY wasted here.
Now, the flipside is all those phrases heard daily in the US that we just know what they mean and accept them.  BUT, I wonder how they might go over in some of the countries where I've lived, particularly those diffused by television.  (Granted, there are equally bizarre sayings in the the languages I have learned that would be met with equivalent confused looks in the US.  Anyone who has learned another language would agree.)  For example, watching all the cop shows on local TV, I am very tired of hearing, "We've got company!"  In many cultures, that would be an exciting thing, but for different reasons.  Or, the one that took the cake (in of itself, weird) was, "They're all over us like a cheap suit."  Go to some of these countries to see what the guys are wearing....Cheap Suits!  So the audience is thinking, "Wow!  What a deal!" 
There are many more, but they all form part of the fun of living overseas.  Now, if I could just figure out a way to make a universal translator for idioms...